“My doggy ate my homework.He chewed it up," I said.But when I offered my excuseMy teacher shook her head. I saw this wasn't going well.I didn't want to fail.Before she had a chance to talk,I added to the tale:"Before he ate, he took my workAnd tossed it in a pot.He simmered it with succotashTill it was piping hot.”

“I ate civilization. It poisoned me; I was defiled. And then," he added in a lower tone, "I ate my own wickedness.”

“In my dreams I ate and I ate my dreams.”

“When I knew what I had to do / I took all my notebooks, all my manuscripts / and ate them page by page / so I could take my words with me”

“The difference between me and Abolqader was that I spoke to my wife with refinement and he spoke to her coarsely and violently, I took a shower once a day and he took one once a month, I didn't even eat spring onions and he ate onions and garlic and radishes by the kilo, I read her poetry by Sa'di and he belched at her...and so in my wife's eyes I was stupid and he was clever, I was an idiot and he was intelligent. I was coarse and he was refined...But apparently he was a very good traveller.." Asadollah Mirza (from My Uncle Napoleon).”

“My Teacher Sees Right Through MeI didn’t do my homework.My teacher asked me, “Why?”I answered him, “It’s much too hard.”He said, “You didn’t try.” I told him, “My dog ate it.”He said, “You have no dog.”I said, “I went out running.”He said, “You never jog.” I told him, “I had chores to do.”He said, “You watched TV.”I said, “I saw the doctor.”He said, “You were with me.” My teacher sees right through my fibs,which makes me very sad.It’s hard to fool the teacherwhen the teacher is your dad.”