“The woman serving me was wearing a white sports bra that looked like it had been mauled by tigers--desert isle chic. ”

“I wonder if Seal got his name because it looks like his face was mauled by a Great White shark?”

“I don't even have moderately big breasticles. They just look like - well, nevermind what they look like. At least they stay strapped down when I worm into a sports bra.”

“...he followed you into the staff room and didn't come back for twenty minutes and when he did come back, he looked like he'd been mauled by a woman who'd been locked in an empty room without a vibrator, or a man for ten years"!”

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”

“Lolly nods. "Though when is the right time for that? I asked her for a new sports bra since I outgrew my last one and she looked at me as if I'd just asked her to buy me a pony.”