“You really don’t like your father, do you?” He glowered. “Let’s just say he would have eaten me if my mother hadn’t been nearly dead from giving birth. She happened to be weaker at the time.”

“I mean, we all have secrets we keep from each other. We all think things…and no one knows about it.” “Shanna, I know about the vibrator.”

“I’m not sure about this.” “What? Your Buffy complex isn’t holding up?” Jordan chuckled. “Well, there is that.”

“Jesus Christ. What does it take to kill that thing?” As if taking that as her cue, the girl stabbed the dagger into the center head’s left eye and shoved it in with her open palm. “It takes that,” the girl said, handing the dagger back to Shanna.”

“You would think that, by sheer chance, there would come a time when you daughter's two dances would be close together, ideally near the beginning. But the dance studio makes sure this never happens, using the same computer scheduling program that the cable-TV company uses to make sure that the technician, for whom you have been waiting eleven hours, rings your doorbell only when you have just commenced pooping.”

“What happened the day I met your father,' she said, 'is that I learned you ave to choose. For better or for worse. You have to choose what your life is going to look like.”

“Who are you?” he said. “And why are you shouting?”“I’m your first officer, sir,” said Slank. “Mr. Slank. I’m just relaying your orders to the crew.”“Ah,” said Pembridge.“The aft binnacle has been cast off, sir,” said Slank.“The what?” said Pembridge.“The aft binnacle,” said Slank. “As you ordered.”“I did?” said Pembridge, squinting suspiciously. “When?”“Just now, sir,” said Slank.Pembridge blinked at Slank.“Who are you, again?” he said.“You first officer, sir,” said Slank.Pembridge blinked again.“My head hurts,” he said.“Perhaps the captain would like to go to his cabin,” said Slank.“You don’t tell me was to do,” said Pembridge. “I’m the captain.”“Yes, sir,” said Slank.“I’m going to my cabin,” said Pembridge.”