“It takes so long to put a movie into production and finish it that anyone with a bad idea has time to give it to you before the movie is completed.”

“It's like what those cheesy action-movie heros always say before they finish taking out the bad guys: I started this, and I'm going to finish it. Except even in the movie of my own life, I've never been the heroine. I've never been Action Girl. I've only ever been Kristen's supporting character.”

“Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.”

“A movie is better than real life because in the movies only the bad guys die. Or you can pick the good movies where the bad guys die and only those. If you get tricked and a good person dies in the movie then you can rewrite it in your head so the good person lives and the part about death is superfluous.”

“Here's the fantastic part of aging no one tells you about: there are no long days anymore. Time always flies, whether things are good or bad. Everyday is like a speed movie.”

“In thinking about 'depressing movies,' many people don't realize that all bad movies are depressing, and no good movies are.”