“Australia! Australians! Surely it's still full of Magwitch-types, lumbering oafs with shaven pates and broken noses on the run from whatever law there is, chucking kangaroo heads on the barbie as they read their awful bush poetry.”

“No one liked to get too upset in WA's capital, a genuine hindrance to Perth forging its own identity. Less than two hundred years old, its unremarkable history and unceasing niceness had combined to apparently stupify its populace. Perth was at least two hours behind the Eastern states but everyone knew it was really dragging behind by years.”

“Perhaps you don't have to do anything wrong for someone to reject you.”

“God, he loved being a bloke. He loved it so much. He wouldn't be a woman for all the money in the world.”

“Perthites were like the Swan River's jellyfish - small pink blobs adrift in a warm environment.”

“Are you ready to try to tame the Wrath?”

“Ideally, alcohol should be consumed in private. I dislike going to the pub, becoming jolly and ending up talking to people I would rather see injected with bleach.”