“I seem to feel ashamed of going out and getting merry - I find it oddly humiliating - but I'm quite happy to sit here like some dipsomaniac and become maudlin. For me, that is cool behaviour. Once you realise you're going to be on your own for the next few decades, it seems as pleasurable a way as any to pass the years.”

“Ideally, alcohol should be consumed in private. I dislike going to the pub, becoming jolly and ending up talking to people I would rather see injected with bleach.”

“No one liked to get too upset in WA's capital, a genuine hindrance to Perth forging its own identity. Less than two hundred years old, its unremarkable history and unceasing niceness had combined to apparently stupify its populace. Perth was at least two hours behind the Eastern states but everyone knew it was really dragging behind by years.”

“I will go in this wayAnd find my own way out”

“I love my passengers. I remember one woman in particular--a senior who had gotten on my bus. She seemed completely lost. She said she was going to a restaurant on City Island Avenue. I could see she was confused. There was just something about her. She looked so elegant, but with a fur coat on a hot summer day, so I said, 'Are you okay?' and she said, 'I'm fine, but I don't know what restaurant I'm meeting my friends at.' I said, 'Get on. Sit in the front.' I asked a gentleman to get up so she could sit near me, and I said, 'I'll run in and I'll check each restaurant for you.'So I checked the restaurants and no luck, but at the very, very last restaurant on the left, I said, 'It's got to be this one. Let me swing the bus around,' and I swung it around. I said, 'Don't move. Let me make sure this is the place before you get out.'It was a hot day, and she's got fur on. She could pass out. So I said, 'Stay here, sweetie. It's nice and cool in here.' I went in and I said 'There's a lady in the bus and she's not sure of the restaurant,' and I saw a whole bunch of seniors there and they said, 'Oh, that's her!'I ran back to the bus and I said, 'sweetie, your restaurant is right here.' I said, 'Let me kneel the bus.' Kneeling the bus means I bring it closer to the ground so she gets off easier. And I said, 'Don't move.' I remember my right hand grabbed her right hand. I wanted to make her feel special, like it was a limousine. It was a bus, but I wanted to make her feel like it was a limousine. And she said, 'I have been diagnosed with cancer--but today is the best day of my life.'And I've never forgotten that woman (Weeping). She's diagnosed with cancer and just because I helped her off the bus, she said she felt like Cinderella. Can't get better than that. And doing your job and getting paid to do a job where you can do something special like that? It's pretty awesome.”

“Perthites were like the Swan River's jellyfish - small pink blobs adrift in a warm environment.”

“Perhaps you don't have to do anything wrong for someone to reject you.”