“I'll stop eating steak when you stop killing spiders." Absurdity: comparing cows to spiders. Arachnids are pure evil. They're like a cigarette manufacturer or a terrorist. They're organized religion on eight legs.”

“The bugs are not like us. The Pseudo-Arachnids aren’t even like spiders. They are arthropods who happen to look like a madman’s conception of a giant intelligent spider, but their organization, psychological and economic, is more like that of ants or termites; they are communal entities, the ultimate dictatorship of the hive.”

“Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil.”

“By the ancient bond of the spellclave, I command you, Spider. Stop, or be turned to stone!”

“I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it.”

“Kids are like heroin -- an injection of pain when they're around, but even when they're not around it's like that next fix. You just can't stop thinking about it.”