“It had always bothered Tom that women thought they could win an argument with a man simply by appealing to his baser instincts, by holding out the mere possibility of award-winning carnal knowledge. It was the gender equivalent of a preemptive nuclear strike. He thought it unfair and, quite frankly, disrespectful of the entire male population.”

“Somehow I thought I had it all figured out, thought that I could predict everyone’s moves. I drew the puppet strings and laid preemptive strikes, but none of this was ever in my control.”

“Women were complicated creatures. Any man who thought he had one figured out simply wasn’t paying attention,”

“We have won battles that are strange and strong for a carnal man to win.”

“He knew how she would love. He had not loved her without gaining that instinctive knowledge of what capabilities were in her. Her soul would walk in glorious sunlight if any man was worthy, by his power of loving, to win back her love.”

“He looks like a runway model. How in the world am I going to be able to reject that? The world is so unfair. Seriously, it's like turning Brad Pitt down for a date. The girl who could actually do it should win an award for idiot of the century.”