“It’s amazing how a bed feels more like a home than any other part of a house.”

“It’s amazing how fast you can run when there’s a f**king rottweiler chasing you.”

“Asking a girl if she's alright is like jaywalking across a black ice-covered 4 lane street: you think you can make it safely to the other side, but you're more likely to slip and fall to a most certain death.”

“The unusual thing about new relationships is that they innately want to become grown-up relationships as fast as they can. They do this by pulling you to learn everything you can about each other, even though the most exciting part about a new relationship is the mystery of who the other person is.”

“Why should we ever continue anything if the first parts are the best?”

“Anger at happenstance for its absurd timing. Anger at myself for being so angry. I hate being angry and every time I got this angry it made me more angry at the fact that I was so angry. I realized though that I couldn't really be mad at any of those things.”

“There is no greater mystery than a love interest when you first met them—so much to learn and so many unknowns. What’s her favorite food? What’s she into? All the things that would eventually be made known in a relationship.”