“Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you’re (linguistically) dead.”

“I believe that any form of writing exercise is good for you. I also believe that any form of tuition which helps develop your awareness of the different properties, styles, and effects of writing is good for you. It helps you become a better reader, more sensitive to nuance, and a better writer, more sensitive to audience. Texting language is no different from other innovative forms of written expression that have emerged in the past. It is a type of language whose communicative strengths and weaknesses need to be appreciated.”

“Here is a rewriting of the British national anthem, by 'Camille, Australia'. It is, she explains, chiefly for the benefit of Microsoft Word and Outlook Express users:Gd CTRL-S r gr8sh Qun.Long liv r nobl Qun.Gd CTRL-S the. Qun!ALT-S hr vktrES,HpE & glrES,Lng 2 rain ovR SGd CTRL-S th. Qun!”

“Shoot you down. Bang! Bang!- Velvet Goldmine”

“Nothing can take the sting off the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other golden statues.”

“Anything well done has the feeling of death to me, of being finished. I don't want to "master" anything. I want to spy, and sneak, and capture things just as they are . . . record all that comes before and after the song—jokes and fights and private moments.Having an unfillable hole inside is a great catalyst. You're always trying new things to fill it. People with holes look good! Look ready for action. But then sometimes you're home alone, and there's nothing new to try, and the hole's still there. "Hey," it growls, poking you from inside, "I'm hungry." I get tired of it!We are like two living cells inside a just-dead body—doomed, terrified.She argues herself out of anything she's working on, halfway through. As I stand there in the downpour and pull the mailbox open and drop my letter down the hole, I think about how Cindy is more beautiful, intelligent, and intricate than me, but still I have the winning point: whatever I do, even when I'm wrong, I go all the way.It's dark humor, but it's rooted in something real. What you present to the world is light humor. You keep it fun and fast-paced. No one can relate to that long-term. Struggle is what makes life rich—not success.”

“Now wait a second..." Kenneth butted in."Yeah, we haven't asked you the questions yet," Brandon finished for Kenneth."Yeah, like what are your intentions toward our little Ryan," Patrick added, smirking."What do you do for a living?" Brandon added."Can you support Ryan's shoe fetish?" Kenneth threw his question in too."Hmm, okay, here are my answers. I plan on feeding him, dancing with him and God willing fucking him until he can't walk straight. I help infertile chickens have baby chickens, and I think so. I'm hoping his feet are about my size. We can share shoes and everything," Phillip answered.”