“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks!”-Totie Fields-”

“‎"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams." -Oprah Winfrey-”

“The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money." —Marlon Brando”

“What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.”

“If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.”

“There’s no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I’ve started drinking my own urine.”

“That whole week, we started to divide things into those two categories: anything or something. A piece of jewelry bougth at a department store: anything. A piece of jewelry made by hand: something. A dollar: anything. A sand dollar: something. A gift certificate: anything. An IOU for two hours of starwatching: something. A drunk kiss at a party: anything. A sober kiss alone in a park: something.”