“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks!”-Totie Fields-”

“If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.”

“There’s no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I’ve started drinking my own urine.”

“I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.”

“They had lost two weeks of dance lessons over that Great Rosebush and Snowball Scandal.”

“I remember the woman who marched up to the front of a church where I was doing a meeting, put her hands on her hips, and she said, "I want my money back." I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, “I’ve been doing this two weeks, and it doesn’t work. I want my money back!” It was actually all that I could keep from doing to keep from laughing in her face, but she was serious. She actually was, like, giving almost to buy some kind of a new lifestyle that she wanted. Didn’t understand a thing about commitment and dedication and discipline. Two weeks! How many of you know you’re not going to throw a little money in the bucket and get your life that’s been a mess for 50 years turned around in two weeks!?!?”