“I'm just afraid of having a tombstone that says HERE LIES A PROMISING OLD MAN.”
“Before I die, I want to change my name to "Here," so that my tombstone could simply read, "Here lies." And then people who knew me could walk by, shake their head, and say, "Ain't that the truth.”
“Whenever I start thinking about death, it always cheers me up to think about my funeral and my tombstone (which, by the way, will say "Here lies Harlan Sturr. Please don't pee on him.") ”
“It is brutal. Only I never could see the sense in having folks look at your tombstone and say, 'He was a man who didn't believe in violence, He's a good man... and dead.”
“I'm not afraid of being dead. I'm just afraid of what you might have to go through to get there.”
“They didn't understand what they were doing.I'm afraid that will be on the tombstone of the human race.”