“It’s one of those unpleasant opioid feverish half-sleep states, more a fugue-state than a sleep-state, less a floating than like being cast adrift on rough seas, tossed mightily in and out of this half-sleep where your mind’sstill working and you can ask yourself whether you’re asleep even as you dream. And any dreams you do have seem ragged at the edges, gnawed on, incomplete.”

David Foster Wallace
Dreams Positive

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“If, by the virtue of charity or the circumstance of desperation, you ever chance to spend a little time around a Substance-recovery halfway facility like Enfield MA's state-funded Ennet House, you will acquire many exotic new facts [...] That certain persons simply will not like you no matter what you do. Then that most nonaddicted adult civilians have already absorbed and accepted this fact, often rather early on [...] That sleeping can be a form of emotional escape and can with sustained effort be abused [...] That purposeful sleep-deprivation can also be an abusable escape. That gambling can be an abusable escape, too, and work, shopping, and shoplifting, and sex, and abstention, and masturbation, and food, and exercise, and meditation/prayer [...] That loneliness is not a function of solitude [...] That if enough people in a silent room are drinking coffee it is possible to make out the sound of steam coming off the coffee. That sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt [...] That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness [...] That the effects of too many cups of coffee are in no way pleasant or intoxicating [...] That if you do something nice for somebody in secret, anonymously, without letting the person you did it for know it was you or anybody else know what it was you did or in any way or form trying to get credit for it, it's almost its own form of intoxicating buzz.That anonymous generosity, too, can be abused [...]That it is permissible to want [...]That there might not be angels, but there are people who might as well be angels.”


“Don’t cry, Booboo. Remember the flag only halfway up the pole?Booboo, there are two ways to lower a flag to half-mast. Are youlistening? Because no shit I really have to sleep here in a second. Solisten - one way to lower the flag to half mast is just to lower theflag. There’s another way though. You can also just raise the pole.You can raise the pole to like twice its original height. You get me?You understand what I mean, Mario?”


“How come she never got sad?”She did get sad, Booboo. She got sad in her way instead of yours andmine. She got sad, I’m pretty sure.”Hal?”You remember how the staff lowered the flag to half-mast out front bythe portcullis here after it happened? Do you remember that? And itgoes to half-mast every year at Convocation? Remember the flag, Boo?”Hey Hal?”Don’t cry, Booboo. Remember the flag only halfway up the pole?Booboo, there are two ways to lower a flag to half-mast. Are youlistening? Because no shit I really have to sleep here in a second. Solisten - one way to lower the flag to half mast is just to lower theflag. There’s another way though. You can also just raise the pole.You can raise the pole to like twice its original height. You get me?You understand what I mean, Mario?”Hal?”She’s plenty sad, I bet.”


“Have a father who lived up to his own promise and then found thing after thing to meet and surpass the expectations of his promise in, and didn't seem just a whole hell of a lot happier or tighter wrapped than his own failed father, leaving you yourself in a kind of feral and flux-ridden state with respect to talent.”


“That sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt. That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness. That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack. That concentrating on anything is very hard work.”


“When you’re meeting a whole lot of new people and having to do things you’re in—I’m in a constant low-level state of anxiety. Which produces adrenaline, and kind of shuts down—there’s a difference between short-term, people-based anxiety. And sort of deep, existential, you know, fear, that you feel all the way down to your butthole. And that, I, that’s…that’s what I’ll have when I’m alone.”