“I quickly discovered three distinct traits about my tablemates:They hit each other a lot.They swore a lot.They belched a lot.”

“Of course! That was it! I didn't need a tattoo. What I needed was something a lot less expensive and considerably less painful. What I needed was a Playboy. Guys who are gay do not keep Playboy magazines in their bedrooms.”

“I tried to think of a good reason as to why I had a sex book down my pants, but my brain refused to work.”

“Rachel's mother slipped her arm around his waist. "Steven was just telling us about being gay, Fred."Rachel's father smiled and reached down to shake my hand. "Way to go, Steven. Just remember, safe sex, safe sex, safe sex.”

“Kelly's mother was a bitch and her father was run over by the motor home when he chased a squirrel into the street, but I figured that was more information than my mother needed to know.”

“No you are not. You are much too young to be gay.”

“The three of us do not go out very often as the three of us. I think Daniel is perfect for Jed, which is the highest compliment I can give. But my friendship isn't with him, and Jed understands that. When we hit the road, we hit it together alone.We get to the bridge, out undestined destination. Even though there's no sign, no arrow, Jed turns at the last minute and parks us in a verge right before the bridge leaves the ground.The trunk pops open, and Jed runs round back to retrieve a bag of oranges and a sweatshirt that fits me better.Shall we make like lizards and leap? he asks.I never felt the urge to jump off a bridge, but there are times I have wanted to jump out of my life, out of my skin. Would you stroll me down the promenade instead? I ask back.Most certainly, my splendid. There is no word for our kind of friendship. Two people tho don't see each other a lot, but can make each other effortlessly happy.”