“Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a huge yacht that sails right next to it.”

“[on buying a private island] Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it.”

“I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.”

“Reach up to the feet of God, looking for a sign...it was right here all the time...”

“Money can't buy happiness but it'll sure keep a mess of grief off your front porch.”

“I can teach you to jump up in five seconds-it takes years to learn how to land properly.”

“Whoever opined "Money can't buy you happiness" obviously had far too much of the stuff.”