“Deep breaths. I am taking deep breaths. Composure. Which, for me, means composing... Maybe this is my way of creating the illusion of control over something I have no control over. Like, if it's just a story I'm telling or a song I'm singing, then I'll be okay because I'm the guy who's providing the words.”

“I still cry on waking. I'm not sure why. I feel nothing. Nothing I can name, anyway. It's like breathing - something that happens over which I have no control. (6)”

“If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending...But if it's a story, even in my head, I must be telling it to someone.You don't tell a story only to yourself. There's always someone else. Even when there is no one.”

“Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here." I take a deep breath, because what I'm about to say is very real and more honest than I've ever been. "I don't want to be away from you for that long.”

“...I felt like I had nothing. Nothing but my body. It's the one thing I can control. For me, sex is my way of taking control of my body. I'm in charge.”

“I'm just going to be really honest right now because this is all new to me and I don't know how else to handle it." He takes a deep breath and pushes the air off his forehead. "I like being around you. I like talking to you. When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you.”