“I have to tell you, man, that my stalker meter is kind of registering in the red zone right now.”

“I have to tell you man, that my stalker meter is kind of registering in the red zone right now.”

“I don't know where I am, Evan.""I'm seeing red everywhere. It's just...everywhere.""I am underwater right now. You don't understand. I'm underwater.""I need a gun.""Evan? I need-”

“The problem, says my sister, Kelly, is not that I can't get over Naomi - it's that I refuse to.... Loving Naomi and waiting for her to come back to me - it's not a stalker thing, but more like a personal mission. A job.”

“A year. A thousand kisses. And now a thousand one, a thousand two. There are so many other place we could have ended up, but I have to believenone of them would have felt this right. "All I want is you" is not entirely true. I want so much more, and with you I think I can get it.”

“Now when I have to remember a date, all I have to do is consult my rap sheet.”

“Dispel, v. It was the way you said, “I have something to tell you.” I could feel the magic drain from the room.”