“I knew I should have call Jack, should have told him...but I didn't. Not yet. I was afraid of him thinking that I was crazy, too. I wasn't sure what he'd do if he saw me drowning. I wasn't sure he'd save me unless he was saving himself. what he'd say.”

“incessant, adj. The doubts. You had to save me from my constant doubts. That deep-seeded feeling that I wasn't good enough for anything I was a fake at my job I wasn't your equal my friends would forget me if I moved away for a month. It wasn't as easy as hearing voices nobody was telling me this. It was just something I knew. Everyone else was playing along but I was sure that one day they would all stop.”

“We could call you an ambisexual. A duosexual. A—”“Do I really have to find a word for it?” Kyle interrupts. “Can’t it just be what it is?”“Of course,” I say, even though in the bigger world I’m not so sure. The world loves stupid labels. I wish we got to choose our own.We pause for a moment. I wonder if that’s all—if he just needed to say the truth and have it heard. But then Kyle looks at me with unsure eyes and says, “You see, I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.”“Nobody does,” I assure him.”

“want to see you, but I’m not sure if we should do that. I want to hear about what’s going on, but I’m afraid thatwill only start everything again. I love you—I do—but I am afraid of making that love too important. Because you’realways going to leave me, A. We can’t deny it. You’re always going to leave.”

“and at first i didn't really know jed wasalthough i was sure he knew that i wasbut gradually we both knewand we knew.”

“What are you thinking, Evan?"So I told him.Every you, every me. Fractals. Fracturs."I wonder who she is now," I said."So do I," Jack admitted. "All the time.”

“It was completely fifth garde and completely silly and I loved it, because he wasn't afraid to be silly. It was like kissing him first - I could do whatever I wanted and not have to worry what he'd think of me.”