“If I lose it now, I will lose you, too. I know that. I hate it.”

“composure, n.You told me anyway, even though I didn’t want to know. A stupid drunken fling while you were visiting Toby in Austin. Months ago. And the thing I hate the most is knowing how much hinges on my reaction, how your unburdening can only lead to me being burdened. If I lose it now, I will lose you, too. I know that. I hate it.You wait for my response.”

“The older I get, the more I lose my ability to breathe.”

“Please may this not be a game. Please may this not be a game. Because if it’s a game, I know I’m going to lose.”

“I'm still upset with my mother, though. And scared.If you lose me, I remember her saying when I was little and we'd go to a department store, just let one of those salesladies know, and they will take you to where I can find you. Even though I'm seventeen, I guess I still thought this would always be true-- that there would always be that lost-and-found, and not the lost-and-still-lost that I am now trapped inside.”

“I guess that's the danger with firsts—you lose all sense of proportion. So I made a fool of myself, even though I didn'trealize it at the time. I was so devoted to him.”

“I said I hated life. You said you hated life. We decided to hate it together.”