“moms aren’t the best audience for medication humor.”

“In the next election, I'm voting for your mom to be the next God.”

“me giving my mom romantic advice is kind of like a goldfish giving a snail advice on how to fly.” -Will Grayson (pg. 66)”

“You made me lose my appetite, Boomer.""My mom tells me that all the time. Your family must be just like mine!”

“It was your mind. The way you were wired. That was the only thing all the theories had in common. You were manic. You were depressive. You were schizophrenic. You were on drugs. You were on the wrong medication. You needed medication. You heard voices. You'd lost the will to speak. Anxiety. Disorder. Nobody knew for sure, at least nobody who was saying anything. After you left, all the remained were guesses. I would go over everything. Every detail. Every panic. Every sigh. But they never added up to anything but you. I only saw the person. I couldn't see the wiring. I couldn't fix the wiring. I tried I tried I”

“every morning i pray that the school bus will crash and we'll all die in a fiery wreck. then my mom will be able to sue the school bus company for never making school buses with seat belts, and she'll be able to get more money for my tragic death than i would've ever made in my tragic life. unless the lawyers from the school bus company can prove to the jury that i was guaranteed to be a fuckup. then they'd get away with buying my mom a used ford fiesta and call it even.”

“Flujo.El estado natural. Cambiamos de humor. Cambian nuestras vidas. Cambian nuestros sentimientos hacia el otro. Cambian nuestras relaciones. Cambia la canción. Cambia el aire. Cambia la temperatura del agua de la ducha.Acéptalo. Hay que aceptarlo.”