“next to it was a dvd called 'as i get laid dying,' which had a hospital scene on the front. it was like grey's anatomy, only with less grey and more anatomy.”

“She raised her hand to cut me off. "I am aware of your epistolary flirtation. Which is all well and good--as long as it's well and good. Before I ask you some questions, perhaps you would like some tea?""That would depend on what kind of tea you were offering.""So diffident! Suppose it was Earl Grey."I shook my head. "Tastes like pencil shavings.""Lady Grey.""I don't drink beverages named after beheaded monarchs. It seems so tacky.""Chamomile?""Might as well sip butterfly wings.""Green tea?""You can't be serious."The old woman nodded her approval. "I wasn't.""Because you know when a cow chews grass? And he or she chews and chews and chews? Well, green tea tastes like French-kissing that cow after it's done chewing all that grass.""Would you like some mint tea?""Only under duress.""English breakfast."I clapped my hands. "Now you're talking!”

“I felt like I was missing something. Missingyou more. Missing whatever was going to happen next.”

“I had no idea what I wanted, only that I wanted something, which is the worst kind of wanting.”

“I know it was more than that. But it was also less than that, too.”

“every morning i pray that the school bus will crash and we'll all die in a fiery wreck. then my mom will be able to sue the school bus company for never making school buses with seat belts, and she'll be able to get more money for my tragic death than i would've ever made in my tragic life. unless the lawyers from the school bus company can prove to the jury that i was guaranteed to be a fuckup. then they'd get away with buying my mom a used ford fiesta and call it even.”

“I preferred to hang out with the dead, dying, or desperate books - used we call them, in a way that we'd never call a person, unless we meant it cruelly”