“Now when I have to remember a date, all I have to do is consult my rap sheet.”

“I called the cops to see if I had a rap sheet. I do, and it rhymes.”

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.”

“I put things down on sheets of paper and stuff them in my pockets. When I have enough, I have a book.”

“Well then that's our date confirmed. I am excited! Most girls want to know if I have long term plans to start a family; you want to know if I like 80s rap. I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I'm not you have a foul mouth and terrible taste in men by all accounts.”

“I don't need a "reason" to be happy. I don't have to consult the future to know how happy I feel now.”