“No, this, she felt, was real life and if she wasn’t as curious or passionate as she had once been, that was only to be expected. It would be inappropriate, undignified, at thirty-eight, to conduct friendships or love affairs with the ardour and intensity of a twenty-two-year-old. Falling in love like that? Writing poetry, crying at pop songs? Dragging people into photo-booths, taking a whole day to make a compilation tape, asking people if they wanted to share your bed, just for company? If you quoted Bob Dylan or T.S. Eliot or, God forbid, Brecht at someone these days they would smile politely and step quietly backwards, and who would blame them? Ridiculous, at thirty-eight, to expect a song or book or film to change your life. No, everything had evened out and settled down and life was lived against a general background hum of comfort, satisfaction and familiarity. There would be no more of these nerve-jangling highs and lows. The friends they had now would be the friends they had in five, ten, twenty years’ time. They expected to get neither dramatically richer or poorer; they expected to stay healthy for a little while yet. Caught in the middle; middle class, middle-aged; happy in that they were not overly happy. Finally, she loved someone and felt fairly confident that she was loved in return. If someone asked Emma, as they sometimes did at parties, how she and her husband had met, she told them:‘We grew up together.”
In this passage from David Nicholls' novel, the protagonist reflects on the changes in her life as she grows older. She acknowledges that as she nears her late thirties, she no longer experiences the same intensity of emotions and relationships that she did in her youth. The quote highlights the idea that as people age, they tend to become more settled, comfortable, and content with their lives. The protagonist no longer expects art or love to have a transformative effect on her, and she is satisfied with the stability and predictability of her existence. This passage captures the bittersweet realization of leaving behind the passionate highs and lows of youth in exchange for the quiet contentment of maturity.
In today's fast-paced and technology-driven world, the idea of living a steady and settled life may seem outdated or even boring to some. The concept of maintaining long-lasting friendships and relationships without the intense passion and drama of youth may feel foreign to a generation that thrives on instant gratification and constant excitement. However, this passage highlights the beauty and comfort that can come from a more mature and stable approach to life. It speaks to the value of deep connections, steady companionship, and the contentment that can be found in everyday moments.
In this passage, the protagonist reflects on the changes in her life as she reaches middle age. She acknowledges the shift in her priorities and expectations, realizing that the passionate intensity of her youth has given way to a more settled and content existence. The passage captures the nostalgia of youth and the acceptance of maturity, highlighting the bittersweet nature of growing older.
Reflecting on the passage provided, consider the following questions to delve deeper into the themes of love, aging, and contentment:
“It would be inappropiate, undignified, at 38, to conduct friendships or love affairs with the ardour or intensity of a 22 year old. Falling in love like that? Writing poetry? Crying at pop songs? Dragging people into photobooths? Taking a whole day to make a compilation tape? Asking people if they wanted to share your bed, just for company? If you quoted Bob Dylan or TS Eliot or, god forbid, Brecht at someone these days they would smile politely and step quietly backwards, and who would blame them? Ridiculous, at 38, to expect a song or book or film to change your life.”
“Falling in love like that? Writing poetry, crying at pop songs? Dragging people into photo-booths, taking a while day to make a compilation tape, asking people if they wanted to share your bed, just for company? If you quoted Bob Dylan or T.S. Eliot or, God forbid, Brecht at someone these days they would smile politely and step quietly backwards, and who would blame them?”
“Finally, she loved someone and felt fairly confident that she was loved in return. If someone asked Emma, as they sometimes did at parties, how she and her husband had met, she told them: ‘We grew up together.”
“There were days - she could remember this - when Henry would hold her hand as they walked home, middle-aged people, in their prime. Had they known at these moments to be quietly joyful? Most likely not. People mostly did not know enough when they were living life that they were living it. But she had that memory now, of something healthy and pure.”
“What would she be saying if she did? That she did want to marry him? For ten years, at least, since she was twelve or thirteen, Rosa had been declaring roundly to anyone who asked that she had no intention of getting married, ever, and that if she ever did, it would be when she was old and tired of life. When this declaration in its various forms had ceased to shock people sufficiently, she had taken to adding that the man she finally married would be no older than twenty-five. But lately she had been starting to experience strong, inarticulate feelings of longing, of a desire to be with Joe all the time, to inhabit his life and allow him to inhabit hers, to engage with him in some kind of joint enterprise, in a collaboration that would be their lives. She didn't suppose they needed to get married to do that, and she knew that she certainly ought to not want to. But did she?”