“Why make disciples? Because heaven and hell exist, and the end of the world is coming.”

“Smartass Disciple: Master, why heaven is up there and hell is down there ?Master of Stupidity: If otherwise, it wouldn't be celebrated as ascension day.”

“The mind is a universe and can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

“One late autumn night, the disciple awoke crying. So the master asked the disciple, "Did you have a nightmare?" "No." "Did you have a sad dream?" "No," said the disciple. "I had a sweet dream." "Then why are you crying so sadly?" The disciple wiped his tears away and quietly answered, "Because the dream I had can't come true.”

“She died believing in the Trinity and Heaven and Hell and all the rest of it. I'm so glad. Why? Because I loved her.”

“Death is pretty final./I'm collecting vinyl./I'm gonna DJ at the end of the world/'cause if heaven does exists/with a kickin' playlist/I don't wanna miss it at the end of the world”