“It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.”

“Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom! penis vagina.”

“The only thing worse than feeling that you are going to die is the realization that you probably won't.”

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”........"Fuck all of you,” John retorted. “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”

“It's okay, my penis is not offended in the least that it just made you throw up”

“Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’s penis would be larger than your penis.”