“Motherfucker, you haven't got the fucking balls God gave a goddamned church mouse. You crawled out of your mama's tattered old pussy, grabbed hold of her milk stained titties, and you ain't never looked back, motherfucker.”

“This grown man who now phones his father to say, "Motherfucker, I ain't seen pussy so long, I'd throw stones at it.”

“Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Rooster. You know what I'm saying?”

“Motherfucker, you try that again and I'll come in there with a fucking coat hanger and give you something to fucking kick about”

“When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.”

“When a hurricane damaged my father's house, my brother rushed over with a gas grill, three coolers of beer, and an enormous Fuck-It Bucket - a plastic pail filled with jawbreakers and bite-size candy bars. ("When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it,' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.")”

“Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.”