“What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it.”
“It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.”
“I wished there was some kind of switch on my brain. That I could turn it off in the same way that I could turn off the television. Just click it off and immediately empty my mind of all these images and worrying thoughts. And simply leave a blank screen. Or if I could just remove my head and put it on the bedside table and forget about it until morning. And then attach it again when I needed it.”
“Of course he was a part of what I hated about myself. Everything was a part of what I hated about myself. It wasn't really personal.”
“Somewhere deep in my mind, I knew he could be my new ocean.”
“and just like that, I shut off the switch to my brain.”