“You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.”

“I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again," he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. "It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters”

“When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.”

“True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was to make yourself and those around you as miserable as possible.”

“Use the word 'ya'll' and before you knew it, you'd find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat”

“You're the man now,' she said to me after my father died, 'you're the man.' Then she turned to Popeye, our calico tom, and said, 'You're the cat now, Popeye, you're the cat,' as if she'd always worn a veil over her face and had never known we were men and cats all along.”

“A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.”