“How can both Nics, the loving and considerate and generous one, and the self-obsessed and self-destructive one, be the same person?”

“At my worst, I even resented Nic because an addict, at least when high, has a momentary respite from his suffering. There is no similar relief for parents or children or husbands or wives or others who love them.”

“Why does it help to read others' stories? It is not only that misery loves company, because (I learned) misery is too self-absorbed to want much company. Others' experiences did help with my emotional struggle...”

“Through Nic's drug addiction, I have learned that parents can bear almost anything....I shock myself with my ability to rationalize and tolerate things once unthinkable. The rationalizations escalate....It's only marijuana. He gets high only on weekends. At least he's not using hard drugs....”

“We deny the severity of our loved one's problem not because we are naive, but because we can't know.”

“Jasper, who is six, is the only one of us who responds appropriately. He wails, inconsolable for an hour.”

“How innocent we are of our mistakes and how we responsible we are for them.”