“Leaders of the world, my message to you is simple: to achieve universal peace and understanding on this planet you have only to speak plainly, even though you may look foolish. This is a thousand times better than looking good and talking nonsense.”

“.... When you have no voice, you don't exist”

“The odd thing about recurring dreams is that, no matter how many times you dream the same thing, it always takes you by surprise.”

“Rainbows only look good next to Unicorns.”

“I speak from the heart words I have no right to say. Words that I should have never uttered to you, yet I cannot help myself. I love you and I shall love you through eternity itself.”

“May I bring you a drink to go with those warm nuts, Mr. Sedaris?" this woman looking after me asked - this as the people in coach were still boarding. The looks they gave me as they passed were the looks I give when the door of a limousine opens. You always expect to see a movie star, or, at the very least, some better dressed than you, but time and time again it's just a sloppy nobody. Thus the look, which translates to, Fuck you, Sloppy Nobody, for making me turn my head.”

“Can you use this for soup?”