“I reached for the knob. At the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape of a flaccid penis. It flopped softly against the door, like a man was cramming it through the knob hole from the other side.I turned back to John and said, 'That door cannot be opened.”

“Okay, babe, I'm here.”The front door smashed opened, slamming against the wall—the man didn't know how to turn a knob?”

“I opened the door for a lot of people and they left me holdin' the knob”

“Will rolled up his sleeves. "We'll probably have to knock down the door--" "Or," said Jem, reaching out and giving the knob a twist, "not." The door swung open onto a rectangle of darkness. "Now, that's simply laziness," said Will.”

“With a damp palm, I turned the knob and cracked open the door. She was asleep in her freshly made bed. I can’t explain how relieved I felt for this simple mercy. She was here and safe on clean sheets.”

“you've got to jiggle the knob hard then bump with your hip."A low cackle of laughter sounded from the other side of the door. "That's what he said. What? Hold on a sec. I got this.”