“Well, they never know they're ill, do they? You can't diagnose yourself with the same organ that has the disease, just like you can't see your own eyeball. So, I suppose you just feel normal and the rest of the world seems to go crazy around you.”

“Marconi said, "I see you have your instruments. Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best."John said, "I can sing."I said, "No, you can't, John.""Well, I play the guitar.""So can I," said Big Jim. "We have two guitars."I said, "This could not be any stupider."John said, "Dave, you remember the words to 'Camel Holocaust'?""Ah, once again, you prove me wrong, John.”

“You know if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet farther than your shoes?”

“No, I don't, like, play an instrument or anything.I'm just...well, you saw me at the beginning there. I was the guy that fell down and died.”

“And then the Jamaican guy pulls out the sauce. "It be opening doors to other worlds, mon," he days. We made him do it first, saw that he didn't die. It seemed to make him pretty happy and then - Dave, the guy, I know I didn't really see this, but the guy shrunk himself, made himself three feet tall. We all laughed our asses off, then he was back to normal again.'And you still tried that shit?'Are you kidding? How could I not?”

“The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean.""Who's-""Because you're gay.”

“And, well, that's my story," I said. "I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded.”