“Jules Michaels won't be attending Julliard 'cause she died.”

“To her core, she suddenly knew she was not prepared to die at the hands of this worm. She had a betrothal ball to attend, wedding vows to declare, and a good man to love.”

“I'll do it!""No, you won't," Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. "You're barely on your feet, Claire. You don't go anywhere, not without me.""And me," Michael said."Hell," Eve sighed. "I guess that means I have to go, too. Which I may not ever forgive you for, even if I don't die horribly.”

“But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.”

“Jacob: 'So have you heard that in seventy years there won't be any gingers left on Earth?'Jules: 'Really? Huh. Nature. Awesome.'Sam: 'Actually, it's not true. It was some bogus report cooked up by a hair-dye company to get some extra press.'Jacob: 'Sure it was, Fanta-pants.'Ava: 'He's right. The recessive gene that causes red hair is totally able to skip generations, so redheads won't die out due to genetics.'Sam: 'Thank you, Ava. It's nice to know that someone around here is sensible.'Ava: 'Of course, redheads might become extinct because they find it so hard to get laid...”

“Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman, you only call her a bitch 'cause she won't let you get that pussy.”