“The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.”

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”

“I'm small, I'm young - and I'm so different. You've always respected that difference, and you've always trusted it. Trust me now. There's a reason I am the way I am, and there's a reason I was born to you. There's always a reason. We belong together.”

“I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy”

“Still in that remarkable hushed voice, he said, "I'm small, I'm young--and I'm so different. You've always respected that difference, and you've always trusted it. Trust me now. There's a reason I am the way I am, and there's a reason I was born to you. There's always a reason. We belong together.”

“I think I'm losing my bottle. I think I'm going tonto.”