“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

“I’d hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day.”

“The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.”

“I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy”

“Не си пиян, ако можеш да лежиш на пода без да се държиш”