“I'll tell you one thing about me, and that is that I'm not to keen on being bossed around. If, say, my Mom tells me to empty the dishwasher, I like to wait a little bit, you know, not hop up and do it right away, because then it feels more like my own idea. That's a little problematic when you have an actual boss.”

“Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.”

“Dat means you like me.   A lot.” “Yeah, it does.”   Captain obvious. “So dat means I’m Mr. Bryn.” “Whatever you say.” “Oh.   Whatever I say?   You want me to be da boss?   Because dat’s not a problem at all.   I like to be da boss of you.” “No,” I said, putting on and zipping up my shorts, “you are not the boss of me.   I’m the boss of me and you.”He frowned.   “Dat’s not fair.   I want to be da boss of something.” “You can be the boss of Buster.” “No, not da dog.   Dat’s not da boss of anything, really.” “Fine.   You can be the boss of … I don’t know.   Kissing.” Bodo stopped putting on his shirt, his eyes taking on a special gleam, making me almost regret I had said it.”

“So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.”

“....And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn't care about my sales sheet. He would care about my soul sheet.' Then you feel a little embarrassed because that was such a low-quality joke.”

“Listen Chica-" Carlos says when we're driving to my mom's store"don't call me that anymore" I tell him"what do you want me to call you, then?" I shrug "whatever. Just not Chica"Carlos holds his hand up "what do you want me from me? You want me to tell you lies? Okay. Kara, without you i'm nothin'. Kara, you own my heart and soul. Kara,, i love you. Is that what you to hear?"yes""No guy who actually says those things really mean them""I bet your brother says them to Brittney and means them""that's because he's lost all common sense. I though you the one girl who didn't fall for my bull""I don't. Consider my wanting you as my real boyfriend a lapse of judgement," I tell him "But i'm over it”