“The favorite game of temperamental people is Try to Guess Why I’m Ticked Off. (Contestant number one, Why do YOU think he’s pissed off? Why, I’m not sure, Bob, but I’m going to go with ‘Because I Left the Faucet Dripping.’ BEEP. I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. The correct answer is: ‘Because You Happen to Exist.’)”

“And that’s why I can’t go out with you. I’m not going to become a number you can’t identify. It’s not what I’m looking for.”

“We had some good fun together, didn’t we? That’s why I’m sorry to say I’m going to have to kill you.”

“I think it’s OK to rape as many people as possible, and that’s precisely why I’m going into politics.”

“Why?” she whispered. “Why should I dance with you?”“Because I love you. Because I love you so much I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it go differently this time.”... "Because we should be a married couple, because I never wanted to not be married to you. Because all these men out here dancing with their wives can’t possibly love them as much as I love you. Because for me, there is only one woman, and I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re it.”

“I’m sorry for screwing everything up. I hurt you again, and for that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to do that anymore. So … I’m not going to stayfor the wedding. I’m just going to take off now. I won’t see you again, not for a long time. Probably for the best. Being near you like this, it hurts. AndJere”—Conrad cleared his throat and stepped backward, making space between us—“he’s the one who needs you.”Hoarsely, he said, “I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it”