“Can I give you my gift now?” Blake reached in his pocket.“You gave me this already.” Livia wiggled her ring finger.He unfolded the music and held it open for her.“You wrote me a song,” she gasped. “I love it, though you know I can’t read music.” She kissed his lips and held the paper against her heart.“Wait! Oh my gosh. Let me get your gift.” She grabbed a gift bag Kyle had left by the steps. Just before she could hand it to him, she pulled it back. “But what if you hate it? It’s either perfect or horrible. Now I’m worried.”Blake tilted his head and squinted his eyes. “It’s perfect. I’m sure of it. Hand it over.”Livia looked sheepish as he moved the tissue paper out of the way. He unrolled the familiar-shaped cardboard and stared at the keyboard she had painstakingly drawn.Livia tried to cover her worry with words. “I’m not sure if I should have replaced it. I mean, I know nothing could replace it. I tried to get the keys right. I went through like ten boxes and—”Blake could move quickly when he wanted to, and she gasped as he kissed her mid-word. He finally stopped long enough to thank her. “Every time I think I couldn’t love you a bit more, you stretch my heart again.”

Debra Anastasia

Debra Anastasia - “Can I give you my gift now?” Blake...” 1

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“Look at me. Please.” It was more than a whisper but less than a shout. She got quieter. “Blake, please.”His green eyes found hers. She spoke as if they were alone.“I made a mistake,” Livia began. “I know you overheard me talking to my dad. I needed him to understand who you are, but I had to talk on his level. As a father he needed to know I was being decisive. I don’t think you heard the last part when I told him you were the path I wanted to take.”A flicker. Was it hope? Livia smiled.Blake’s lips moved, and she knew he’d counted her smile. “I’ll make mistakes. I know I will,” she continued. “I want to be perfect for you. But I’m human. I can only be me. That probably isn’t enough for a soul as beautiful as yours. But if I hurt you by accident, can’t we stay and hold hands until we fix it? Can’t we fix it?” Livia now spoke louder than she wanted to, but she had to be heard over the cacophony.Blake bit his lip. “You’re perfect.”“No, sweetheart. I can’t even pretend to be perfect. Look where we are right now. That’s my fault, Blake.”Here. I need to tell him now. “Blake, I love you,” Livia confessed quietly.The tears in her eyes had nothing to do with smoke this time.Livia leaned toward Blake and tried again, louder still.“Blake, I love you.”Livia shouted in the silence because now her soul was free. “I love you, Blake!”She smiled as he mouthed the words back to her.”

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“He seemed to be drinking in her face, looking at her instead of into her.“Stop. Stop that. This isn’t goodbye.”Blake pulled her left hand to his mouth and kissed her ring finger. “I’m still glad it’s empty. He never deserved you. Of that, I’m very sure.”Livia saw moisture in his eyes. “You’re saying goodbye. No. Here’s what I’m sure of. I’ll walk away from this house right now, wearing only what I have on my back and be happy. With you I can taste forever—it’s right here.” Livia pointed at her lips and then kissed his.Blake allowed the kiss, but mumbled a question as well, “How many shotguns does he have?”“Not enough to get me away from you.” Livia traced his jaw.Blake took her hand and kissed her palm, then her forehead, “Livia, go in there and let him talk to you. He’s a father. I’d want to talk to my daughter at a moment like this. Let’s give him that respect.”“I will not go in there. Where will you go?” Livia felt a gentle tug on her heart. She was torn. She wanted to comfort her dad and get him to understand who Blake was, but in as little time as possible so she could get back to Blake.“My inamorata, you know where I’ll be: where I’ll always be. Waiting. For you.” Blake began putting the mask on.Livia looked around wildly, feeling close to irrational. “I don’t want you to go.” These words were inadequate to express her need.Blake smoothed her hair away from her face. “I’ve often wished I had a father. Let me help him be that. He needs you to himself for a just a little while.”Livia’s love for her dad gave her the strength to step back and nod. She stood on the porch and watched Blake’s retreating form. Every once in a while he turned to wave, and just before he reached the end of her street, he stopped to look at her. Neither of them waved this time.”

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“Livia, I’m here to say it’s okay. It’s okay if you want to leave, live a normal life, have a husband with a great job and beautiful children with your gray eyes.” His breath caught a little as he finished.Livia, just a gut feeling, but let him come to you…Listen to him. Livia stayed silent instead of rushing in with words.“I’m asking permission to watch you from a distance, just to make sure you’re safe,” Blake continued. “You won’t even know I’m there. I promise.” Blake removed his hands from her face.“Are you done?” Livia wanted to make sure.Blake stepped back and nodded as if they’d just completed a painful business transaction, like buying a coffin. Livia shook her head and launched herself at him. He caught her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She held his face like he’d just held hers. His green eyes were unsure, but a tiny spark danced within them.“Blake Hartt, I choose you. I deserve you. I want you.” Livia proved it by kissing his cold lips until they were warm.Blake laughed and pulled away to look at her with tears and rain in his eyes. “Really? Really. Really!”Livia nodded. “Absolutely.”Blake kissed Livia this time. He started out gently and then became more serious. He carried her over to the station’s brick wall and pressed her back against it. He put her feet on the ground as he grabbed a fistful of her soaking wet hair. Livia reached under his T-shirt to feel his stomach and then his chest. Blake moaned and pushed her harder against the building. But again he pulled back to look at her.“Me? I want you to be sure,” he said.“You,” Livia whispered.“Me.” His eyes were full of intent.“Always you.” Livia gave him her biggest, heartfelt smile.“Five hundred.” Blake touched her face as if she might be a mirage and smiled back only when she didn’t disappear.”

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“Beckett, where’s Eve?”When he had her pressed to his chest, she tried again. “Are you going to tell me or what?”Beckett sighed and looked into her face. “I left her, babycakes. She needs wings, not handcuffs.”He held Livia tighter, like she was a teddy bear.She stopped moving her feet and hugged him around the neck. “You’re not handcuffs. Don’t you know that? She loves you. She does, I’ve seen it.”Beckett resumed dancing, dipping her again. “Look around, Whitebread. She’s not here. She didn’t try to stop me from coming. Her heart belongs to a dead man and a dream. I’m neither of those things.” Beckett released her and clapped for the end of the song. He reached in his pocket and produced a crumpled envelope. “Here’s my gift to you guys. I’m sure Blake won’t want to accept it, but I’m hoping you’ll convince him. For me.”

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“Blake opened his beautiful green eyes. He tried to smile, but it was just a grimace. “Livia. I love you too. Smile again.”She hated his words. They were a goodbye. “I can’t smile, I have to run. I have to get help.” She tried to stand and felt the gentle pressure of his hand on her thigh.“Smile again.” He worked to keep his eyes open.Livia picked up the hand that had stopped her. She lifted it to her lips and kissed every knuckle. By the time Livia tried to smile, only one of his green eyes was focused on her face. Her forced smile used all the wrong muscles.“Good enough,” he joked.”

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