“Come on, sweetheart. I’m letting you do this. Do it.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “Listen, I know it’s easier when they’re not fucking looking at you.”Beckett turned and faced the wall.“I don’t know who hired you, but can I ask you for something?” He talked at the wall.Here comes the fast-talking, the mojo, the shout to his employees.“Could you make sure Cole doesn’t take credit for his handiwork last night? And can you follow up on that Chris guy?” Beckett turned his head a bit, listening for her answer.He still trusts me. He still trusts me with his brothers. I can’t do it.”

“Daring to approach the brothers’ tension-filled embrace, Livia touched one of Beckett’s coiled arms. “Beckett.” She waited until his furious face turned toward her mouth. “I still need you. Here. I can’t wait for him without you. You promised. I’m not man enough. Remember?”Livia held her breath.“You’ve got your sister,” he said quietly.“Let go of him, Cole. Please.” Livia nodded at the puzzle of arms, each with its own agenda.Cole looked reluctant as he stepped away, keeping his body between Beckett and Chris.“It has to be all of us. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. We all have to sit here and hope for the best. Pray for the best. Even with that pile of shit right there.” Livia didn’t have to point; they could all feel pulsating of the evil that was lodged in Chris.“We have to think about Blake—getting fixed, getting healed, getting back to us. Adding murder to tonight is wrong. It’s all wrong. You have to make a different choice. I trust you, Beckett. You can do this.”Livia’s earnest words seemed to make Beckett want to curse. His face boiled red for a moment. Only Beckett could hear Livia’s gentle breath that pleaded, “Please.”Rather than leaping to action, he rubbed his forehead and took in great gasps of air. Finally, he grabbed her head in a giant hug. “For you, Whitebread. Only for fucking you.”

“I hit you. Won’t that make you go away? What else can I do?” he snarled. He’d fallen back on his old standby, anger.“I’m not going away, Cole, so maybe we can cut out the assaults in the future. You don’t want me to go away. I know that. You love me, Cole. That’s the feeling that makes you so angry.” She’d sighed and looked at the ceiling. “You don’t know what to do with it, because the people you’ve loved in the past caused you pain. That’s what you think love is. Pain.”She’d looked at his face until he met her eyes. They were still green.“But, Cole, I love you. Have I hurt you? Ever?”Cole had to shake his head. She hadn’t. Not once.“I’m showing you what to do with love, Cole.” She stood and held out her arms.A hug. A simple hug he didn’t have to earn by throwing a chair. Human contact that wasn’t required because he was trying to hurt someone. She still trusted him. She still saw something in him.”

“Why aren’t you fighting back?” Blake finally asked one night as Beckett lay on his bed.“I told you not to come the fuck out there, didn’t I?” Beckett hissed.“I like the woods,” Blake said. “I don’t like knowing what he does to you.”

“I will come back as a little breeze. You will feel me on your face, and you will know that I am still listening. So you can still talk to me.”

“I know I get crazy when it comes to you, but God knows I’m tryin’, Pidge. I don’t wanna screw this up.”“Then don’t.”“This is hard for me, ya know. I feel like any second you’re going to figure out what a piece of shit I am and leave me. When you were dancing last night, I saw a dozen different guys watching you. You go to the bar, and I see you thank that guy for your drink. Then that douchebag on the dance floor grabs you.”“You don’t see me throwing punches every time a girl talks to you. I can’t stay locked up in the apartment all the time. You’re going to have to get a handle on your temper.”“I will. I’ve never wanted a girlfriend before, Pigeon. I’m not used to feeling this way about someone…about anyone. If you’ll be patient with me, I swear I’ll get it figured out.”“Let’s get something straight; you’re not a piece of shit, you’re amazing. It doesn’t matter who buys me drinks, or who asks me to dance, or who flirts with me. I’m going home with you. You’ve asked me to trust you, and you don’t seem to trust me.”He frowned. “That’s not true.”“If you think I’m going to leave you for the next guy that comes along, then you don’t have much faith in me.”He tightened his grip. “I’m not good enough for you, Pidge. That doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, I’m just bracing for the inevitable.”“Don’t say that. When we’re alone, you’re perfect. We’re perfect. But then you let everyone else ruin it. I don’t expect a one-eighty, but you have to pick your battles. You can’t come out swinging every time someone looks at me.”He nodded. “I’ll do anything you want. Just…tell me you love me.”“You know I do.”“I need to hear you say it,” he said, his brows pulling together.“I love you,” I said, touching my lips to his. “Now quit being such a baby.”He laughed, crawling into the bed with me. We spent the next hour in the same spot under the covers, giggling and kissing, barely noticing when Kara returned from the shower.”