“Do you know how many guys I’ve been with?” Kyle asked, meeting her eyes for just a moment. “So many. You know why? Because in that moment, just before you let them fuck you, you’re the center of their universe. It lasts just seconds, but I like that feeling. I crave that feeling.“This morning—last night? Whenever it was, standing in that church in front of him? I had that feeling. I was the center of his universe. And we had all our clothes on. That feeling lasted for hours.” Kyle closed her eyes as if to transport herself back there.”

“Liv, do you think you love him?” Kyle looked like she already knew the answer. “I feel like I’ve always loved him, and now I just got lucky enough to find him.”

“Do the routine for me. Please, Livie. I love you. I’m sorry I poisoned your boyfriend. I’m the one who made him so cute, though. You have to forgive me, Livia. I’m so bad.” Kyle looked close to tears.“He barfed and now he’s fine,” Livia said. “You know I love you, and you’re not bad, you just make bad choices. Do I still have to do the routine?”Kyle smiled and wrinkled her nose. “Oh, yes. The routine must happen. Assume the position.”Kyle bounced out of Livia’s arms and gave Lorraine what must have been the universal hand gesture for I just tricked my sister into humiliating herself. Start the music before she runs.”

“And they had no idea what lives inside me, what I can do.”“I know what you do to me,” Kyle said, finding his eyes. “It’s everything right, honest, and good.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips.“Kyle, I’m intense and devoted, and I need a lot of direction just to get through my day.”“Cole, I’m impulsive and devoted and hopeless. I have a filthy mouth, and I don’t see it cleaning up anytime soon.”“I would like to make love to you. Here. Right now,” Cole said, continuing his confession. “But I’m afraid I’ll lose you, that you’ll leave your body and go somewhere else. Will you stay with me?”“I’m your shadow now, Cole. I’ll be where you are.” Kyle set her jaw, determined.“Okay,” he said. “This is how it’ll go. I’m going to give you pleasure. And you’re going to take it. No reciprocating.” He instantly saw doubt in her face. “Please, this time—which will be the first of so many—let me make you happy. Let my touch cleanse you. When I’m done, I want your body to belong just to us.” He could feel himself smiling, just thinking about it.”

“Kyle nodded and bit her lip. She looked nervous as a virgin. “This feels like jumping off a cliff,” she finally said.“I’ll only do this if you want me to. Do you want me to?” Cole took a step back.Kyle reached around and unzipped her sundress. She held her arms out like a sacrificial lamb.“Say it, so I know for sure.” Cole’s eyes glowed with lust and reverence.“I want you to.” Kyle watched him.”

“But then Cole ran for her, sliding on his knees to close the final distance between his hands and her skin. Kyle wrapped his head in her arms, cradling him.“My sweet Cole. That’s better. That’s better.” Kyle braced her hands on his shoulders and slowly lowered herself to her knees. She put her hands on his cheeks and waited until he looked at her. “You forgot something last night.”Cole looked puzzled.“You made me promise you something. Now you owe me a promise.”Cole nodded somberly.“Be the real Cole. Promise me you will be you.” Kyle’s voice was strong and sure.Cole felt his heart soar with her embrace, settling the feelings inside him. “Kyle, I’ve done so much wrong. I think I’m done being the real Cole. How much hurt can I cause?” He could hardly speak through his fear.She smiled again. “I’ve done my own share of wrong, but look. Look around. We’re in the perfect place.”The church looked like paradise. A frame of broken rainbows arched above the lovers on their knees.Cole held her face to his, whispering, “Help me.”Kyle gave him the absolution he needed with her lips.”

“Kyle, please. Stop. This isn’t you. You aren’t even here anymore,” Cole said softly with his arms around her.Kyle blinked and shook her head. Shame. Again.Then she fought him desperately—eyeing her scattered clothes and the door.“You don’t have to do this for me. I don’t want a show.” Cole put his hands on her face and kissed her lips gently. For the first time.Their separated souls rejoiced and found each other again. He lifted her off the altar and set her on her feet.“Be you for me, Kyle. Be the Kyle you’re so very afraid of being. I’ll keep her safe.” Cole skimmed his lips along her cheek and looked at her hopefully.Kyle gazed into his eyes and nodded solemnly. The moment seemed bigger than the two of them.Cole asked permission. “Kyle McHugh, may I worship you?”A tear fell from her eye as she whispered, “Yes.”Cole took a step back and whipped the cloth off her shoulders. She was no vixen now. Kyle looked terrified. She clenched her fists, as if willing herself not to run. Cole turned and gathered her scattered clothes. He found her panties and took them to her, kneeling at her feet. Kyle looked puzzled, but as he worked the panties up her legs, she got it. Unlike all the other men, he was dressing her.”