“Every morning and evening, Livia granted her eyes the only thing they asked for all day: a sweeping, hopeful look at the platform. And every time, her gut registered the punch of his absence.”

“On the ride home after a long day at school, Livia commanded her eyes to look at the floor of the train and not search for him. But they took direct orders from her heart and combed the platform as the train pulled in.”

“Blake’s lips were still tinged blue from the time he’d spent waiting for Livia in the rain. Livia decided to change that. She sat in his lap and pushed the hair out of his eyes. His hands found a sliver of bare skin at the small of her back. Livia knew his touch registered on her face when his lip lifted in a snarl. She let her head fall back so her hair would skim his hands.Blake blew on her neck. She knew what was next. She’d been picturing it since the meadow. His tongue was slow and meandering, and even though she should have been prepared, his teeth still made her gasp. Livia wanted to do so many bad things to him on the kitchen table. She was pretty sure she could actually speak in tongues if she tried right then.”

“Blake opened his beautiful green eyes. He tried to smile, but it was just a grimace. “Livia. I love you too. Smile again.”She hated his words. They were a goodbye. “I can’t smile, I have to run. I have to get help.” She tried to stand and felt the gentle pressure of his hand on her thigh.“Smile again.” He worked to keep his eyes open.Livia picked up the hand that had stopped her. She lifted it to her lips and kissed every knuckle. By the time Livia tried to smile, only one of his green eyes was focused on her face. Her forced smile used all the wrong muscles.“Good enough,” he joked.”

“Livia decided she loved watching things go into him. Food, water, love—all these things she could give him.“You look tired. Would you like to nap?” he asked. Blake was definitely back. There was less rasp and more smoke in his silky voice.“No, Blake. I never want to sleep again. Just this.” Livia touched his face. “Only this.”The pride in his eyes almost changed their color. He turned his face to her palm, kissed it, and said, “Come, my love, put your head on my shoulder. Your burdens have been heavy.”In that moment, Livia realized her eyelids were drooping, and the crook of Blake’s arm seemed perfect for her head. His lips stayed on her forehead as he hummed a serene song. Livia fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.”

“Livia, I’m here to say it’s okay. It’s okay if you want to leave, live a normal life, have a husband with a great job and beautiful children with your gray eyes.” His breath caught a little as he finished.Livia, just a gut feeling, but let him come to you…Listen to him. Livia stayed silent instead of rushing in with words.“I’m asking permission to watch you from a distance, just to make sure you’re safe,” Blake continued. “You won’t even know I’m there. I promise.” Blake removed his hands from her face.“Are you done?” Livia wanted to make sure.Blake stepped back and nodded as if they’d just completed a painful business transaction, like buying a coffin. Livia shook her head and launched herself at him. He caught her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She held his face like he’d just held hers. His green eyes were unsure, but a tiny spark danced within them.“Blake Hartt, I choose you. I deserve you. I want you.” Livia proved it by kissing his cold lips until they were warm.Blake laughed and pulled away to look at her with tears and rain in his eyes. “Really? Really. Really!”Livia nodded. “Absolutely.”Blake kissed Livia this time. He started out gently and then became more serious. He carried her over to the station’s brick wall and pressed her back against it. He put her feet on the ground as he grabbed a fistful of her soaking wet hair. Livia reached under his T-shirt to feel his stomach and then his chest. Blake moaned and pushed her harder against the building. But again he pulled back to look at her.“Me? I want you to be sure,” he said.“You,” Livia whispered.“Me.” His eyes were full of intent.“Always you.” Livia gave him her biggest, heartfelt smile.“Five hundred.” Blake touched her face as if she might be a mirage and smiled back only when she didn’t disappear.”

“Blake pulled Livia to him. “How do you manage to be so brave every day?”Livia put a hand on his smooth jaw. “I should ask you. Seeing you stand—here, of all places—in the sun to wait for me was amazing.”