“I will not let you lose your family. I won’t let it happen to you.” Eve’s hands circled his big, tense neck.He shook his head and let out a defeated breath. “I’m so sorry, Eve. I can’t even…Well, now I guess I can imagine what I did to you—just a little.”Her words had hurt him, knocked him down. That’s not what she’d intended. She would have to lay it out.“Beckett, I’ll save you from that fate because I love you. I love you.” She let her hands slip to his chest.His heart. His beautiful heart, surrounded by thorns, guns, and pain.”

“His heart actually stumbled when he remembered her pain. He immediately knelt by her head.“Eve, how can I fix this? Tell me what to do. I’ll do anything.” He moved her hair out of her face.Eve let his words lay in the room with them for a while before she uttered her blasphemous ones. “When I’m with you, it doesn’t hurt as bad.”He picked her up again, surprised—now that he could think—at how much she weighed. This girl’s pure muscle.He sat on the couch with her on his lap. Starting over. “I’m so sorry, Eve.”Eve touched the new marks on his chest, lines that linked all his past violence with a path of red, new pain. “I know you are, Beck. I know you are.”

“You can have that life,” he told her. “It’s right there for you to take.”“I love you,” Eve quickly countered.“Loving me hurts you, doesn’t it?” Beckett asked, looking down. “No, you don’t have to tell me. I know. I can smell it. I can smell the pain coming off of you,” he said, looking at the floor. “You had love before and a future. What does loving me get you, Eve? What does it get you?” He stood, angry with himself.“I don’t need to get anything from you. It’s the way it is. There’s no changing that.” She gripped the porch railing.Beckett stepped close to Eve and tenderly tucked a lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.“You’re saying goodbye,” she said, her eyes full of questions.“Do you know there are other little girls out there like that one? I lived with a few of them. They would sell their souls for a mother like you.”At the word mother Eve’s chin crumpled. She tried to hold back the tears, but they wouldn’t obey.“See that? It’s what you need. You need that—a little kid calling you Mom.” Beckett put his arms around her as she shattered.The pain she kept hidden surfaced from where it had been smoldering. When he felt her knees weaken, he hugged her harder.“That’s right. It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, baby. You want normal.” He guided her to the chair he’d vacated. “There’s a guy out there who’ll hold your hand. There’s a little girl out there. She’s waiting for you. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay.” He knelt in front of her and rubbed her arms.She slapped at his hands, letting outrage carry her words. “I don’t want another man. I want you. I’ve killed for you. I’ve protected you. What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you honestly think these hands that kill can hold a child?” She held her fingers in front of her face.“Yes. Absolutely. Don’t you know, gorgeous? Mothers are some of the most vicious killers out there, if their kids are threatened. You just have more practice.” He took her hands and kissed them.“I’ve lost too much. I can’t lose you. Don’t make me. Please. I’ll beg you if I have to.” She watched his lips on her palms.He shook his head and used her own words against her. “The hardest part of loving someone is not being with them when you want to be.”He stood, and she mirrored his motion,already shaking her head. “Don’t say it.”Beckett ignored her; he knew what he had to do. He had to set beautiful Eve free to find that soft, touchable woman he’d seen her become with the little girl.”

“He’d stood like a baby deer. He lurched toward her with no grace at all. She enclosed him in a hug that was so much better than a restraint. She’d patted his head just like a mother. Like a mother who cared.Cole’s body had heaved with tears. She kept hugging him. She handed his heart back the dreams it had thrown away.“That’s it, sweetheart. Let it out.” She rubbed his back.Her shirt was soaked by the time he stopped crying. They sat down together again.“I’ve read your file,” Mrs. D said. “What your parents did to you was terrible. It was a horrible, horrible mistake. You should’ve been cherished. You should’ve been treated like the beautiful little boy you are. They were wrong, Cole.” She held his hand. “I’m sorry for what they did to you.”Cole’s mind had flashed with images from his time before Evergreen. The cage. The belt. The drugs. They still made him feel scared.“You’re going to make it. You’ll be a great, thoughtful, proud man. I can see it. I know it as sure as I know my name.” She wouldn’t let go of his hand.“I’m always awful. How can you know that?” Cole’s voice remained thick with tears.“I’ve been doing this job for twenty-five years. I know a good one when I see him.”

“I was pregnant, and then I wasn’t,” she said softly. “I was in love, and then I wasn’t. You did that. You took those things from me. My family was collateral damage in a drive-by ordered by you.”“I’ve hated you longer than I’ve done much of anything else. No one hired me. I’m here because it’s the only way I’m still a mother to her. I can still be an angry mother even though she’s not here. But I’m not even doing that right.”Eve hung her head in defeat. She felt the numbness crawl over her again. Claim me. I have nothing left.Beckett dropped his arms and turned to face her. “Eve.”The odd sound of her name on his lips brought her eyes to his face. He was devastated.“What’s her name?” Beckett asked in an unsteady voice.Eve bit her lip. She’d never told anyone.“Anna.” Eve’s long-dry eyes filled with tears.Beckett made no move to cover himself or call for help. “That’s a beautiful name. Anna’s very lucky to have such a dedicated mother. Once you’re a mom, that title’s yours for-fucking-ever—like a president.”He reached over and chose the quietest pistol from the wall. He held it out to her.“No one will hear this one, so you should be able to get out of here. I’m so sorry. I caused you the most unimaginable pain. It would be my honor to die at your hand, if it gives you even a moment’s peace.”Eve stared at the gun for a long while. “That’s the worst part,” she whispered, her voice soaked with defeat. “I’m not strong enough. I’ve killed so many. I can kill anyone. But I can’t kill you.”

“I hit you. Won’t that make you go away? What else can I do?” he snarled. He’d fallen back on his old standby, anger.“I’m not going away, Cole, so maybe we can cut out the assaults in the future. You don’t want me to go away. I know that. You love me, Cole. That’s the feeling that makes you so angry.” She’d sighed and looked at the ceiling. “You don’t know what to do with it, because the people you’ve loved in the past caused you pain. That’s what you think love is. Pain.”She’d looked at his face until he met her eyes. They were still green.“But, Cole, I love you. Have I hurt you? Ever?”Cole had to shake his head. She hadn’t. Not once.“I’m showing you what to do with love, Cole.” She stood and held out her arms.A hug. A simple hug he didn’t have to earn by throwing a chair. Human contact that wasn’t required because he was trying to hurt someone. She still trusted him. She still saw something in him.”