“Safe! All I wanted to do was keep them safe. How do you protect your brothers at eight-fucking-teen? How do you make enough money, get enough respect to do that? I wasn’t smart, Eve. I’m a big, dumb fucking bastard. I couldn’t even get a job as a bagger at the A&P. I wanted to make their lives worth living. That’s what they’d done for me—made my life worth living. They’re my family. I can’t…I just can’t.” Beckett pounded his chest.“They would’ve been better off without me,” he continued. “Blake would still be homeless, but Cole made his own damn way. But I wanted in. I wanted to belong. I was too fucking selfish to walk away. I should have walked away. But I didn’t and now—” Beckett choked on a deep, angry sob. “Now, they’re paying for it. All my stupid decisions. They’ll die tonight. They’ll both die, and I can’t stop it. I can’t plug it with money. I can’t bring them back from the dead, even if I act tough or kill more people.”

“Blake, Cole, and I have been family for each other, because the ones we started with were for crap. Why they let me in, I still don’t know. But because they did, I believed I was worth more than I would have otherwise.” He nodded and gathered his thoughts for a moment.“Blake’s company made me want to hug trees and hear music. Cole’s company made me want to try harder to be a better person. I never imagined that anyone could love either of these men enough for me to let them go.”“But I didn’t know about the McHugh girls. Their love is fiercer than guns. More powerful than fistfuls of money. I can walk away because of them. Officer McHugh? I want to thank you again for letting me see this through. I know my peace of mind is far from your concern, but I appreciate it anyway.”Beckett held his glass up high. “To my brothers. They’ve finally gotten the lives they deserve.”

“I can’t leave him here. Not with them. Not in the fucking dirt.” Beckett grabbed his flashlight with every intention of handing it to Eve so he could carry his friend—no matter how fucking big he was—to someplace better, when the light landed on Mouse’s bare chest.“What the hell?” Beckett touched Mouse’s chest again, and Eve took the light and centered it on the tattoo in question.Beckett traced it for a moment, his finger lingering on the knitting needles that set it apart from his own, and bowed his head. “Now that’s too fucking much,” he said softly. “That hurts too fucking much. Eve, not Mouse. He can’t be gone.”

“Come on, sweetheart. I’m letting you do this. Do it.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “Listen, I know it’s easier when they’re not fucking looking at you.”Beckett turned and faced the wall.“I don’t know who hired you, but can I ask you for something?” He talked at the wall.Here comes the fast-talking, the mojo, the shout to his employees.“Could you make sure Cole doesn’t take credit for his handiwork last night? And can you follow up on that Chris guy?” Beckett turned his head a bit, listening for her answer.He still trusts me. He still trusts me with his brothers. I can’t do it.”

“Beckett, you’re doing this for people who don’t even know you’re protecting them. We’re in the shade here. I can do this. Let me do this. I can’t stand by and watch.”Beckett thought for a moment, saying nothing. Blake had taken the beating like a pro. Too good to be his first time.”

“Daring to approach the brothers’ tension-filled embrace, Livia touched one of Beckett’s coiled arms. “Beckett.” She waited until his furious face turned toward her mouth. “I still need you. Here. I can’t wait for him without you. You promised. I’m not man enough. Remember?”Livia held her breath.“You’ve got your sister,” he said quietly.“Let go of him, Cole. Please.” Livia nodded at the puzzle of arms, each with its own agenda.Cole looked reluctant as he stepped away, keeping his body between Beckett and Chris.“It has to be all of us. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. We all have to sit here and hope for the best. Pray for the best. Even with that pile of shit right there.” Livia didn’t have to point; they could all feel pulsating of the evil that was lodged in Chris.“We have to think about Blake—getting fixed, getting healed, getting back to us. Adding murder to tonight is wrong. It’s all wrong. You have to make a different choice. I trust you, Beckett. You can do this.”Livia’s earnest words seemed to make Beckett want to curse. His face boiled red for a moment. Only Beckett could hear Livia’s gentle breath that pleaded, “Please.”Rather than leaping to action, he rubbed his forehead and took in great gasps of air. Finally, he grabbed her head in a giant hug. “For you, Whitebread. Only for fucking you.”

“I hit the streets first. So I knew what we were in for. I’m not a smart guy, but I can read a situation. To live in this world without a dime or a pot to piss in, you have to sell your soul or your body.”“I wouldn’t let them face that choice. I had six months to become the baddest motherfucker who ever lived. So I fucked up piles of people. I sold my soul, Livia, and I sold other people’s bodies. But when my brothers stepped out of our foster home for the last time, I had respect. Respect enough to keep their souls clean. I’m going to hell, Livia,” he said.“I’m going to hell for all three of us,” Beckett said defiantly. Only now did he pull his hand away.”