“Your Blake is mourning something. I think that pain is manifesting as his glass-skin delusions. You’re going to have to approach him as if he’s in one of those tents I walk into. My advice is this: Listen, Livia. Listen to him. Saying words out loud can heal.”

Debra Anastasia

Debra Anastasia - “Your Blake is mourning something. I...” 1

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“Livia kissed his chin. “Blake, I need you to do something for me. Will you do something for me?” Livia felt a little dirty about forcing him to agree before she told him how much she was asking.“I’ll do whatever you wish.” Blake inclined his head in a solemn gesture.“Will you walk in the sunlight if these are covering you?” Livia held out her sunshields.Blake looked at the items. Then he nodded and took the mask.Livia knew this was a risk. Hell, she was half sure she was delirious with lack of sleep and desperation. But she had an insatiable need to heal. I may lose him, but goddamn it, I have to try.”

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“Oh, God don’t let me hurt him.Am I really doing this? Here? Is this real?We’re in the middle of nowhere. No one is going to find us. Even the fire has gone out.He’s dead. I’m just beating on his body.My arms hurt. How can my arms hurt now? Blake. I can’t. I can’t be here without you.I’ve got to be positive. I have to know he’ll make it.We’re going to grow old together, Blake. We’re going to hold hands and kiss.I’m giving you all my energy. All this love and hope. It’s going from my heart to yours, through my hands.Feel it, Blake. Feel it.I love you so much. I’m going to love you forever. Can you feel that, Blake?Am I imagining that? Your skin?Blake! Blake, your skin! It’s just like glass, Blake. You’re really sparkling. I can see it. I can really see it. Your skin is amazing!You’re glistening, Blake. I’ll never stop. I’ll never stop.”

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“In me. Come in me. Have me.Livia heard her thoughts echoing in the room and realized she’d said them out loud. His hands gripped her thighs, letting her know this was becoming impossible for him.“Lick, Blake. That’s next.” Livia watched as he growled on his way to her ear.“You’re going to kill me. God, you smell so good.” Blake let his clever tongue find its way on her skin.”

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“Livia stayed silent and tried to quiet the screaming in her head. Fuck your mother, Blake! She was a drunk and a coward. You were a child, not a man, and you were only trying to end your own pain. She held tight to Dr. Lavender’s advice. Listen. This was Blake’s plane crash. Livia’s silence invited him to continue.”

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“One and two and three and four and five and six…”Oh, God don’t let me hurt him.“…and seven and eight and nine and ten and eleven…”Am I really doing this? Here? Is this real?“…and twelve and thirteen and fourteen and fifteen…”We’re in the middle of nowhere. No one is going to find us. Even the fire has gone out.“…and sixteen and seventeen and eighteen and nineteen…”He’s dead. I’m just beating on his body.“…and twenty and twenty-one and twenty-two and twenty-three and twenty-four…”My arms hurt. How can my arms hurt now? Blake. I can’t. I can’t be here without you.“…and twenty-five and twenty-six and twenty-seven and twenty-eight and twenty-nine and thirty.”The next step was simple: cover his mouth and fill his lungs with air. Breathe into him with life’s breath. Livia did so, licked her lips, and started compressions again.“And one and two and three and four and five and six and seven…”I’ve got to be positive. I have to know he’ll make it.“…and eight and nine and ten and eleven and twelve and thirteen and fourteen…”We’re going to grow old together, Blake. We’re going to hold hands and kiss.“…and fifteen and sixteen and seventeen and eighteen and nineteen…”I’m giving you all my energy. All this love and hope. It’s going from my heart to yours, through my hands.“…and twenty and twenty-one and twenty-two and twenty-three…”Feel it, Blake. Feel it.“…and twenty-four and twenty-five and twenty-six and twenty-seven…”I love you so much. I’m going to love you forever. Can you feel that, Blake?“…and twenty-eight and twenty-nine and thirty.”Livia leaned down, repositioned Blake’s head, and filled his lungs twice more. As she put her hands on his chest to keep her rhythm, she looked down at his face, at his skin.“And one and two and three and four and five and six…”Am I imagining that? Your skin?“…and seven and eight and nine and ten and eleven…”Blake! Blake, your skin! It’s just like glass, Blake. You’re really sparkling. I can see it. I can really see it. Your skin is amazing!Livia’s tears landed on her hard-pumping hands. Nothing would stop her from beating Blake’s heart for him now. Nothing. Not even the sound of people crashing through the woods.“…and twelve and thirteen and fourteen and fifteen and sixteen and seventeen…”You’re glistening, Blake. I’ll never stop. I’ll never stop.”

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