“Why, Criminy Stain," I said. "You're a romantic.""Oh, no," he said with a grin. "I'm fiendish and unscrupulous, a vicious killer and a thief and a bloodthirsty monster. And maybe a little romantic. But don't tell anyone, or my reputation's shot.”

“It's a little scary, what you do." As I tried to figure out how to respond, and with words as sharp and cold as the blade of a knife, Criminy said, "If you're scared of her talent, then you don't truly know what fear is.”

“Criminy?" I asked."Hmm?""What are we doing?""I'm having a meal with a friend while you squirm like a child," he said serenely.”

“Honestly," he said with a grin, "how would that have worked? Oh, hello dream lover. Would you drink some of my blud so I won't murder you in front of all these nice people?"”

“Wait," I said looking around. "How do we get off of this thing and onto the island?"Criminy's mouth compressed into a thin line. Then his lips started to twitch. Then he started to shake. And then he cackled, head thrown back, as if it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard."Darling, I have no idea whatsoever," he said, "I didn't think that far ahead.”

“I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you are," I said shyly. "I just don't want to mess up, and you're much better at this sort of thing than I am.""Don't worry. You'll enjoy playing along. You'll have to be haughty, and I'll have to act beaten down, when we're in public.""That sounds kind of fun." I said."Just don't forget that it's a ruse, love," he said. "Because once we're outside the walls again, you'll be entirely in my power. And I'd hate to have to spank you.”

“The word WANTED slithered across the top of each image in elegant calligraphy. The drawing of Criminy was spot-on, but the one of me was more than a little imaginative. I looked like an evil seductress, some sort of vampy witch-queen. I liked it. I wanted a copy for my wagon.”