“Would you dare to walk with the beast on the dark side of the moon?”

“To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!”

“REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.”

“Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.”

“Words have power, you dumb piece of shit.”

“Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?”

“I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.”