“I am the Walrus, but not the one you're probably thinking of. I am the other Walrus, the one who is less the Walrus in the sense of legendary music and more the Walrus in the sense of his tendency to to lie around in places for too long.”

“I am the Walrus...”

“I am the eggmanThey are the eggmen!I am the walrus!”

“To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!”

“I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.”

“About a month ago I got a cactus. A week later, it died. I was really depressed because I was like, 'Damn! I am less nurturing than a desert.”

“They are the Eggheads. He is the Walrus.”