“What's even more messed up than funerals, is the way people treat you after the funeral. Like you're diseased or something.”

“It’s so much more romantic to end a story up with a funeral than a wedding.”

“A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”

“When you're at a funeral and you're crying, you're crying for yourself”

“The earthquakes in people's heads, half the city's population was cracked, a rabble of doom-merchants, psychos, ghouls. They could smell a funeral a mile off, and out they crawled, out of the woodwork. A funeral lit them up, it was like fuel, it kept them burning for days.”

“There was just no good way for a dead son to greet his mother almost two weeks after his funeral.”