“That's the thing about being a victim; you start to think it'll happen to you on a regular basis. It's living with the reality of your own vulnerability, and it sucks.”

“You tend to meet on a more regular basis with people in your industry, and reality being what it is, you tend to meet with them at the particular level that you occupy; so that develops a fraternity relationship.”

“May I guess this has something to do with the particularly hot undead guy you suck face with on a regular basis?”

“Oh, I'm starting to cry again. That's what happens when you think about life being fair. And I can't explain why it isn't . . . I don't think it's something anybody knows.”

“You know the minute you stop thinking about it, it'll happen.”

“It's an odd thing to think about, but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of Oreos? Chain-smoke, pop, pills, get stoned, or fuck around? NO YOU WOULDN'T. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life. Because you love yourself, and even if you don't right now, WE DO. So put the (insert vice here) and start moving on.”