“If you only enjoy the journey of writing, that's reward enough.”

“If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.”

“More than a catbird hates a cat,Or a criminal hates a clue,Or the Axis hates the United States,That's how much I love you.I love you more than a duck can swim,And more than a grapefruit squirts,I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,And more than a toothache hurts.As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,Or a juggler hates a shove,As a hostess detests unexpected guests,That's how much you I love.I love you more than a wasp can sting,And more than the subway jerks,I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,And more than a hangnail irks.I swear to you by the stars above,And below, if such there be,As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,That's how you're loved by me.”

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”

“Progress is a fine thing, but it's gone on long enough.”

“Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.”

“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”